It is an important quality to have that enables us to speak with an audible tone of voice, stand tall and make direct eye contact with whoever we are talking to. It is also what allows us to believe in what we are doing and in ourselves, being part of what helps us stand firm when we need it the most, especially for situations such as speaking in front of an audience. This thing that I am referring to is confidence.
As a person who often struggles with various aspects of self-confidence, I wanted to learn more about this topic and find answers to questions that I, and perhaps many others like myself, am actively searching for an answer to. In this edition of The Young Post, I interviewed the Macau Speech Professionals Association’s (MSPA), which comprises professional speakers and public speaking enthusiasts, Executive Vice President Sandy Leong (梁嘉怡). The interview questions were sent to Leong directly and the following are her answers.
From previous interviews and events I have covered, I can see that you are a very confident person. You have also been really involved in public speaking, taking on different roles such as being the District 89 Area G3 Director for Toastmasters International and the Macau Speech Professionals Association’s Executive Vice President. Were you always interested in public speaking? How did you get into it?
“From personal relationships, to business, and advancing in our careers, effective communication is a highly sought-after skill that helps us connect to others. My public speaking journey began during my undergraduate studies at UBC [University of British Columbia] when I decided to challenge myself by entering various student competitions. Oftentimes, this means presenting to a panel of professional judges with my ideas and analysis. My presentation techniques were cringe-inducing: I expected to win solely by reading off my cue cards or PowerPoint slides with minimal eye contact with the judges. Fortunately, in one of the competitions, a professor mentored me in how I can be more engaging as a speaker and opened my eyes to a new world.
“After moving back to Macau, I began looking for ways to improve myself and meet like-minded individuals who are passionate about learning. Toastmasters International was my answer. After joining [the] Professional and Graduates Toastmasters Club, I was encouraged to write my own speeches, work on public speaking skills, and take on various roles that honed my leadership abilities. And a few years later, along with a group of public speaking enthusiasts, we formed the Macau Speech Professionals Association with the goal of empowering people to thrive and influence through public speaking and to enjoy the benefits of effective communication”.
How would you define confidence?
“I define self-confidence as the ability to believe in yourself to accomplish goals, both big and small, despite all odds and difficulties. This includes knowing that you may not succeed on your first try but believing you will pick yourself up after every obstacle and trying again and again until you achieve your goal”.
Where, in your opinion, does confidence come from? Is it something that someone is born with or do you think it can be learnt?
“Does your face turn as red as a tomato when talking to strangers? Have you averted your gaze every time the teacher asked a question? Do all your accomplishments feel like just pure luck? That was me in school.
“While some people develop confidence early in their lives, most of us gain it through experience and maturity. We “level-up” in experience points when we complete challenges of increasing difficulty which results in confidence in our abilities. And maturity comes when we accept our authentic self, acknowledging that our imperfections also make us who we are. Knowing who we are inside and believing in what we can accomplish is the bedrock of confidence”.
The need to be confident seems to be present in different aspects of our lives. How important is it to be confident? Should it be something that everybody should work towards?
“The self-doubt and feelings of ‘I’m not good enough’ that arise are likely defence mechanisms that we developed to protect ourselves. These feelings of inadequacy can be detrimental to different aspects of our lives. In relationships, it may manifest in feeling like we are not worthy of love. In the workplace, we may hesitate to take on new roles and responsibilities. On a personal level, it eats away our happiness and leaves us feeling empty.
“Now imagine how gaining confidence can help us unlock our potential. Because we are confident in our abilities, we can move forward with career or relationship opportunities that come our way. While it doesn’t guarantee success, being able to accept, adapt, learn, and find the good in any situations definitely puts us in the right mindset to achieve more”.
Do you think there are benefits to being a confident person? If so, what are they?
“In my opinion, confidence is an internal and personal experience – how you view yourself and how you view your abilities. Once that base has been established, you will naturally start exuding charisma, an external experience of how others perceive you. Being charismatic draws people to you like a magnet and leaders with charisma can inspire others by finding the positive in stressful situations, without suppressing their own emotions”.
Do you think there are also negative aspects?
“Perhaps one thing to keep in mind when working on being confident is being aware of the fine line between confidence and arrogance. By being mindful of other people’s feelings and respecting their ideas, we can all learn how to be both confident and charismatic without the negative labels”.
What tips would you give to people who want to gain confidence?
“The best tip for those who are looking for ways to gain confidence is to celebrate achievements, even the little ones. Try giving yourself positive reinforcements, recognise your own hard work, and tackle things that you fear most.
“Back to when I was a student, learning to speak to an audience was a very raw experience. The ordeal naturally shone a spotlight on me, exposing me to the possibility of ridicule or rejection by my peers. However, I told myself to keep trying different techniques: today, I will try speaking without using cue cards, tomorrow, I will use hand gestures to add emphasis to my words, and next time, let me use more of the stage. Every step of the way, I celebrated all the little achievements and milestones that I hit. And before long, I found myself on a plane, on my way to the other side of Canada to represent my school in a nation-wide competition.
“There’s a mantra that I live by: fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. Being confident means accepting missteps that happen in your journey. Being confident means you’ll brave through the rough times. Perhaps like me, you’ll discover more of yourself by learning public speaking. Or perhaps, you’ll find confidence in your workplace or studies. Wherever you go or whatever you decide to do, keep this in your mind: being confident is celebrating all the little steps, celebrating all parts of your journey, and most importantly, celebrating all of you”.
Macau Speech Professionals Association (MSPA) Executive Vice President Sandy Leong (梁嘉怡) is shown in undated photos she provided yesterday.
